Watching basketball is awesome. You're visiting this site, so presumably I'm preaching to the choir here. But sweet baby Jesus, NBA basketball is just absurdly entertaining. It's the only sport where I will watch a random, meaningless regular season game between two basement dwelling teams from start to finish and enjoy every second. Oh, Andre Drummond is playing Anthony Davis tonight? I shall watch this and pass judgement based on a 48 minute sample size!
Why is this? Rhetorical question. Obviously it's because NBA basketball has personality!
For example, I watched all 9 of Travis Hafner's seasons with the Cleveland Indians. Here's what I know about Travis Hafner. At some point in the minors he developed a certain level of, ahem, respect in the showers. His teammates called him "donkey." Also, at some point, one of his minor league teammates started calling him "project," because that's what late-blooming power hitters are in the minors. Then, a gentleman of impressive mental capacity decided to combine the two nicknames into "Pronk." Henceforth, announcers referred to Hafner as "Pronk," even explaining it was short for project-donkey. They did this with a straight face for 9 seasons.
'Merica.
That's all I know about Hafner, though. Unless you're outgoing off the field, baseball boxes most players into a few stereotypes with very little breathing room in the game for personality to shine through.
In contrast, NBA players' personalities shine through in their play and in their actions for 48 minutes a night across 82 games each season. We knew Delonte West was crazy and hilarious because on the court he played and interacted with teammates in a way that was both crazy and hilarious. Also, body wash.
Watch long enough and you feel like you know a guy personally, just by watching him play basketball.
So, while the NBA is filled with guys Logan and I absolutely love to watch on a nightly basis, it's also filled with a few guys we love to hate. Loathe. Abhor. A few guys in this league are downright unwatchable because there's something about their game or their face that's...annoying.
This is 5 on 5, and these are the most unwatchable players in the NBA by position...
Point Guard
Logan- Brandon Jennings, Bucks
Jennings is a curious case, in that he could make a lot of people’s most watchable list. He is a supremely talented individual that can explode for 30 or more points any game. What makes him so unwatchable is how inefficient he is as a scorer and how poor of a job he does of running the Bucks offense.
Though it should be said that over the past few games he has been an assist machine and seems to be choosier with his shot, over the season he has posted a field goal percentage under 40% and only a little over 6 assists a game. He shoots far too many contested mid-range jumpers and threes which has resulted in his poor shooting percentage and an even more embarrassing three point percentage at 35.3%.
He shows in flashes that he has the ability to make great passes and is 15th in the league in assists, but it always seems to be secondary to getting his own shot and is a shame considering he has great potential at being a leading assist man. His inefficiency makes him painful to watch, but of late he is starting to understand what he needs to do. If he could ever harness his talent he could be a star player in this league, but right now he is just insanely frustrating.
Scott- JJ Barea, who cares
Why is this? Rhetorical question. Obviously it's because NBA basketball has personality!
For example, I watched all 9 of Travis Hafner's seasons with the Cleveland Indians. Here's what I know about Travis Hafner. At some point in the minors he developed a certain level of, ahem, respect in the showers. His teammates called him "donkey." Also, at some point, one of his minor league teammates started calling him "project," because that's what late-blooming power hitters are in the minors. Then, a gentleman of impressive mental capacity decided to combine the two nicknames into "Pronk." Henceforth, announcers referred to Hafner as "Pronk," even explaining it was short for project-donkey. They did this with a straight face for 9 seasons.
'Merica.
That's all I know about Hafner, though. Unless you're outgoing off the field, baseball boxes most players into a few stereotypes with very little breathing room in the game for personality to shine through.
In contrast, NBA players' personalities shine through in their play and in their actions for 48 minutes a night across 82 games each season. We knew Delonte West was crazy and hilarious because on the court he played and interacted with teammates in a way that was both crazy and hilarious. Also, body wash.
Watch long enough and you feel like you know a guy personally, just by watching him play basketball.
So, while the NBA is filled with guys Logan and I absolutely love to watch on a nightly basis, it's also filled with a few guys we love to hate. Loathe. Abhor. A few guys in this league are downright unwatchable because there's something about their game or their face that's...annoying.
This is 5 on 5, and these are the most unwatchable players in the NBA by position...
Point Guard
Logan- Brandon Jennings, Bucks
Jennings is a curious case, in that he could make a lot of people’s most watchable list. He is a supremely talented individual that can explode for 30 or more points any game. What makes him so unwatchable is how inefficient he is as a scorer and how poor of a job he does of running the Bucks offense.
Though it should be said that over the past few games he has been an assist machine and seems to be choosier with his shot, over the season he has posted a field goal percentage under 40% and only a little over 6 assists a game. He shoots far too many contested mid-range jumpers and threes which has resulted in his poor shooting percentage and an even more embarrassing three point percentage at 35.3%.
He shows in flashes that he has the ability to make great passes and is 15th in the league in assists, but it always seems to be secondary to getting his own shot and is a shame considering he has great potential at being a leading assist man. His inefficiency makes him painful to watch, but of late he is starting to understand what he needs to do. If he could ever harness his talent he could be a star player in this league, but right now he is just insanely frustrating.
Scott- JJ Barea, who cares
I generally don’t buy into the argument that pesky energy guys are inherently annoying to watch. Opposing fans often describe Andy Varejao as annoying, because he tries hard every play. That’s the point of the game and you’re a terrible human being if you don't like to watch hard working athletes. These same people also claim that NBA players are overpaid millionaires who don’t care about winning or defense. Make up your mind, straw man!
So, I don’t loathe every fiber of JJ Barea’s being because he plays like a gnat circling cake. No, I loathe him because for the love of all that is good and holy, JJ, you barely got touched! Get the hell up off of the ground! Seriously, he’s built like Danny DeVito with the lowest center of gravity in the NBA and yet he’s constantly on the ground. Have some damn pride JJ. It’s guys like you that give scrappy, hard working players a bad name.
Shooting Guard
Logan- Jordan Crawford, Celtics
It was a tight contest between Jordan Crawford and Nick Young for this spot but Jordan Crawford’s poor shooting and irrational confidence was just slightly greater than Young’s. Crawford is your stereotypic microwave player, the kind of guy who has the remarkable ability to catch fire and make unbelievable shots. However, with Jordan these moments seem few and far between. He is shooting a depressingly 41.3% from the field and 34.4% from the three point line.
This man is valued for his scoring and he has not delivered on this front this season or throughout his career. He has his moments where he will have a 30-point outing or hit a buzzer-beater fade-away for a win that skews people’s opinion of him to think he is a valued commodity in this league. Most nights, however, he spends his time jacking ill-conceived shots that clank harmlessly off the rim.
Crawford single handedly can destroy a team’s offensive flow and rhythm and did it so much in Washington that he became a bench warmer before he was traded to Boston for pennies on the dollar. Boston is probably Crawford’s last chance to show he can have a long-term career in this league because if Doc Rivers can’t get him to shoot more efficiently and round out his game then I doubt anyone can.
Scott- Eric Gordon, Hornelicans
So, I don’t loathe every fiber of JJ Barea’s being because he plays like a gnat circling cake. No, I loathe him because for the love of all that is good and holy, JJ, you barely got touched! Get the hell up off of the ground! Seriously, he’s built like Danny DeVito with the lowest center of gravity in the NBA and yet he’s constantly on the ground. Have some damn pride JJ. It’s guys like you that give scrappy, hard working players a bad name.
Shooting Guard
Logan- Jordan Crawford, Celtics
It was a tight contest between Jordan Crawford and Nick Young for this spot but Jordan Crawford’s poor shooting and irrational confidence was just slightly greater than Young’s. Crawford is your stereotypic microwave player, the kind of guy who has the remarkable ability to catch fire and make unbelievable shots. However, with Jordan these moments seem few and far between. He is shooting a depressingly 41.3% from the field and 34.4% from the three point line.
This man is valued for his scoring and he has not delivered on this front this season or throughout his career. He has his moments where he will have a 30-point outing or hit a buzzer-beater fade-away for a win that skews people’s opinion of him to think he is a valued commodity in this league. Most nights, however, he spends his time jacking ill-conceived shots that clank harmlessly off the rim.
Crawford single handedly can destroy a team’s offensive flow and rhythm and did it so much in Washington that he became a bench warmer before he was traded to Boston for pennies on the dollar. Boston is probably Crawford’s last chance to show he can have a long-term career in this league because if Doc Rivers can’t get him to shoot more efficiently and round out his game then I doubt anyone can.
Scott- Eric Gordon, Hornelicans
Now, I don’t blame Eric Gordon for his injuries. Certainly, getting hurt a lot isn’t enough to make this prestigious list. What really grinds my gears is the arrogance with which Eric Gordon has gone about his NBA business despite playing 33 games total in the past two seasons. New Orleans traded for Eric Gordon in the deal that sent Chris Paul to the Clippers.
Let me repeat this, because it’s important. New Orleans traded for Eric Gordon because they wanted him on their team. Then, after playing all of nine games last season, New Orleans decided to match any offer that came RFA Eric Gordon’s way…because they wanted him on their team and believed in him.
Let me repeat this, because it’s important. New Orleans traded for Eric Gordon because they wanted him on their team. Then, after playing all of nine games last season, New Orleans decided to match any offer that came RFA Eric Gordon’s way…because they wanted him on their team and believed in him.
Naturally, Eric Gordon, whose injuries have caused him to sit out more games than he’s played in, was thrilled that New Orleans was willing to give him insane amounts of guaranteed cash. Ohh wait, never mind. He’s thrown a season long hissy-fit because New Orleans matched Phoenix’s offer, and tried to pout his way into a trade. All while missing most of this season with a bum knee. Just shut up and play, Eric Gordon, the rest of us would like to see what all the hype in your head is about.
Small Forward
Logan- Luke Walton, Cavaliers [Editor’s Note: You’re dead to me, Logan. Dead!]
Scott’s love for Walton is clear and I have to admit Walton has done some great things for Cleveland these past few games, but Walton’s game is largely unwatchable. I agree with Scott that he has a great knowledge for the game and shows remarkable vision on the court. He has been known to perform some great passes and is an expert at the hockey assist (or the pass before the assist).
What makes him so difficult to watch is that he does have this great knowledge and vision; yet, his body just lets him down miserably. Throughout this season I have seen too many shots come up short because of a bad back and bad knees, or have him lose a handle as he begins a dribble drive move. These are even more painful to watch because you know that Walton’s decision was correct, his lack of coordination and run-down body just let him down.
I watch basketball for enjoyment and I don’t want to feel depressed by Walton’s lack of athleticism. I hope he can keep his effectiveness going and that his body doesn’t let him down so I wont be so frightened when the ball touches his fingertips.
Scott-Lamar Odom (nahh that’s too easy)…Omri Casspi, Cavaliers
Logan- Luke Walton, Cavaliers [Editor’s Note: You’re dead to me, Logan. Dead!]
Scott’s love for Walton is clear and I have to admit Walton has done some great things for Cleveland these past few games, but Walton’s game is largely unwatchable. I agree with Scott that he has a great knowledge for the game and shows remarkable vision on the court. He has been known to perform some great passes and is an expert at the hockey assist (or the pass before the assist).
What makes him so difficult to watch is that he does have this great knowledge and vision; yet, his body just lets him down miserably. Throughout this season I have seen too many shots come up short because of a bad back and bad knees, or have him lose a handle as he begins a dribble drive move. These are even more painful to watch because you know that Walton’s decision was correct, his lack of coordination and run-down body just let him down.
I watch basketball for enjoyment and I don’t want to feel depressed by Walton’s lack of athleticism. I hope he can keep his effectiveness going and that his body doesn’t let him down so I wont be so frightened when the ball touches his fingertips.
Scott-
Do any non-Cavs fans reading this know who Omri Casspi is? Of course not. Let me clue you in. Omri is the first Israeli-born player to make the NBA. Pretty cool, right? And, to be fair, he seems like a really nice guy. In his interviews with the local media, I’ve always been impressed by his awe shucks attitude. People from the Midwest respond well to humility.
That’s why it’s absolutely hilarious that Omri Casspi—who has completely fallen out of Byron Scott’s rotation—demanded a trade this year. Again, this guy isn’t good enough to crack the lineup of a team that gave significant minutes to Donald Sloan this year. Here’s the best part, though: Chris Grant couldn’t trade him. Not a single other NBA team was willing to give up even a late second rounder for the rights to Omri Casspi’s bench warming services. LOL.
Power Forward
That’s why it’s absolutely hilarious that Omri Casspi—who has completely fallen out of Byron Scott’s rotation—demanded a trade this year. Again, this guy isn’t good enough to crack the lineup of a team that gave significant minutes to Donald Sloan this year. Here’s the best part, though: Chris Grant couldn’t trade him. Not a single other NBA team was willing to give up even a late second rounder for the rights to Omri Casspi’s bench warming services. LOL.
Power Forward
Logan- Tyler Hansbrough, Pacers
Hansbrough is arguably my least favorite player in the league. He makes up for his lack of athleticism by being a dirty and overly aggressive player. If you haven’t had the pleasure of seeing him in action you can see him slamming into players for about 20 minutes in any Indiana game. He makes it difficult for me to watch their games, which is truly depressing considering how much I enjoy their team besides him.
Psycho T is a brute on the court whose biggest objective seems to be to make the big men on the opposing team agitated and get them into foul trouble. He pulls on jerseys, body slams people going to the basket and basically tries anything the refs will let him get away with to get an edge on his opponents.
He has a track record of getting players to lose their heads, with the Udonis Haslem flagrant foul last year in the playoffs to being punched by Will Bynum in a game this year. Hard fouls happen in this league and sometimes players may lose their heads, but when someone seems to actively seek these kinds of things from others… I just can’t enjoy that.
Hansbrough is arguably my least favorite player in the league. He makes up for his lack of athleticism by being a dirty and overly aggressive player. If you haven’t had the pleasure of seeing him in action you can see him slamming into players for about 20 minutes in any Indiana game. He makes it difficult for me to watch their games, which is truly depressing considering how much I enjoy their team besides him.
Psycho T is a brute on the court whose biggest objective seems to be to make the big men on the opposing team agitated and get them into foul trouble. He pulls on jerseys, body slams people going to the basket and basically tries anything the refs will let him get away with to get an edge on his opponents.
He has a track record of getting players to lose their heads, with the Udonis Haslem flagrant foul last year in the playoffs to being punched by Will Bynum in a game this year. Hard fouls happen in this league and sometimes players may lose their heads, but when someone seems to actively seek these kinds of things from others… I just can’t enjoy that.
Scott- Josh Smith, Hawks
Stop trying to make your jump shot happen, Josh. It’s not going to happen.
Center
Logan- Byron Mullens, Bobcats
I could have probably picked a Bobcats player to fill every slot of my 5 but Byron is probably the hardest to watch. Mullens is a sad excuse for center; he isn’t an effective defender and is woefully inept on offense. He refuses to stay in the paint and launches threes at an alarming rate for a player only averaging 29.4% form beyond the arc. He drifts to the three-point line any chance he gets and launches these ridiculous threes when he should be staying in the paint and working on developing a competent post-game to help extend his career in this league.
Mullens is 7 feet tall and therefore can grab a few rebounds, but he isn’t dominant on the glass and has no chance at grabbing any offensive boards when he is hanging around the three-point line. I have already written over five-sentences on Byron Mullins, and can’t write any more, so do yourself a favor and don’t watch a Bobcats game.
Logan- Byron Mullens, Bobcats
I could have probably picked a Bobcats player to fill every slot of my 5 but Byron is probably the hardest to watch. Mullens is a sad excuse for center; he isn’t an effective defender and is woefully inept on offense. He refuses to stay in the paint and launches threes at an alarming rate for a player only averaging 29.4% form beyond the arc. He drifts to the three-point line any chance he gets and launches these ridiculous threes when he should be staying in the paint and working on developing a competent post-game to help extend his career in this league.
Mullens is 7 feet tall and therefore can grab a few rebounds, but he isn’t dominant on the glass and has no chance at grabbing any offensive boards when he is hanging around the three-point line. I have already written over five-sentences on Byron Mullins, and can’t write any more, so do yourself a favor and don’t watch a Bobcats game.
Scott- Dwight Howard (also too easy)…JaVale McGee, Nuggets
This one will definitely make Logan angry. Good! He needs to know. Tough love it is.
This one will definitely make Logan angry. Good! He needs to know. Tough love it is.
(Fast forward to 1:04, or don't and just enjoy the whole scene if you're a first world anarchist.)
JaVale McGee’s immense physical gifts combined with a staggering lack of basketball IQ was once cute. He was on crappy Wizards teams, so his antics served to brighten up SportsCenter highlights on otherwise boring winter mornings. Now he’s playing for George Karl’s Denver Nuggets, which are a legit contender in the Western Conference.
He’s got a legendary coach to work with in practice every day, and yet JaVale McGee is still JaVale McGee. What was once funny in a post-it-to-Deadspin kind of way is now annoying in a we-need-you-to-win-a-title kind of way. It’s cringe-worthy, and I can’t watch it anymore. Get your shit together JaVale.
He’s got a legendary coach to work with in practice every day, and yet JaVale McGee is still JaVale McGee. What was once funny in a post-it-to-Deadspin kind of way is now annoying in a we-need-you-to-win-a-title kind of way. It’s cringe-worthy, and I can’t watch it anymore. Get your shit together JaVale.
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